Dear Newspaper Delivery Person

Dear Newspaper Delivery Person,

One question…



When I signed up for newspaper delivery, I asked for my paper to be delivered on my driveway. It’s a double wide driveway, you can’t miss it, but for some reason, every Thursday and Sunday (the only days I get the paper), you seem to miss my driveway completely. Heck, it’s almost in my neighbors yard…

…hopefully I’m not accidentally stealing their newspaper…

…nope, I’m not…

…their paper is in their driveway…

Every Thursday and Sunday I start my day with a good ole game of ‘Find the Newspaper’. Most of the time I find it in the street, in the street gutter to be more precise. Sometimes it’s in the midget tree out by my curb…

…yep…there’s my paper…in a tree…

That won’t happen anymore though. I cut the tree down. Ha!

Sometimes I’m lucky enough to not have to walk to pajama wearing self the extra 2 feet to the street because you’ve thrown it on the sidewalk…

…the sidewalk in front of my house???

That would be too easy…the sidewalk in front of the neighbors house is much more welcoming…

So again I ask…why don’t you like me?

Maybe you think I’m fat and need to walk the extra few steps to the street to retrieve my paper….


Maybe it’s the vicious dog I don’t own that chases you down the street?


Do you not like the look of my home? Does it scare you? (Keep in mind, this was before we started remodeling).


Maybe my house is too colorful? (This isn’t quite what it will look like when we are finished…but isn’t it pretty! And so colorful!)


As far as I know there aren’t any obstacle courses or gates in front of my driveway that would make it difficult to throw a paper in it…unless of course you are afraid of an octopus…



Whatever the problem is, I’m sure we can work it out….right?












…maybe not…



7 thoughts on “Dear Newspaper Delivery Person

  1. It is never dull reading your blog! You are so creative.

  2. Very cute 🙂 I actually have had something similar happen. In the country, I had a newspaper box right next to my mailbox. The newspaper box had the name of the newspaper on it. Did the newspaper ever get delivered there? Of course not. Mud, rain, snow–in the driveway.

    • clankids says:

      You would think putting it in the box labeled ‘Newspaper’ would be pretty clear. I found my Sunday paper in the mud. Guess I shouldn’t complain too much, at least it was in it’s little plastic baggie.

  3. This made me laugh. Just a word of warning. If you pick it up in the morning and it’s wet – don’t assume it’s dew. I’ve seen a fair share of dogs walking along and stopping to pee on the newspapers in the driveways in my neighborhood. 🙂

  4. I’m all digital now. One advantage of that is I don’t have to worry about where my paper lands. Someday all news ‘paper’ will probably be digita.

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